Saying Yes to the Dress

Photo: source 1, source 2, source 3, source 4

Wedding dresses stressed me out.

On one hand, I was all like, "it's a once-in-a-life-time (knock on wood) thing--I should get my dream dress even if it costs an arm and leg". On the other hand, I was like "I'm only wearing it ONCE, why am I throwing money at a dress I'm only wearing once and not even for the whole day!"

Can you tell how torn I was about the budget to set for my dress? My co-worker told me that dresses were likely to be at LEAST $1,000 and that they could definitely go for more. However, now that my wedding has passed, I can assure you that gowns range anywhere from $100 to over $10,000.

I originally set my budget at $1,000 but I was really trying to keep it more at the $500 level.

When I first set out to look for my dress, more than 1 person told me that David's Bridal was the worst place ever and to stay away if possible. However, being completely lost and not knowing what I wanted, I decided David's Bridal would be the best place to start given its accessibility and variety of gowns and brands.

Here are some pointers for those of you who are beginning your dress search:

• Bring your parents -- they're your worst critic (unless you have a girlfriend who could be more brutally honest than your parents)
• Take pictures in every gown and decide later (tip – if you already know how you want your hair that day, style it accordingly—i.e., if you’re going with an updo, put your hair in a bun, etc.)
• Try on the dresses with accessories (i.e, sashes/belts, veils, and jewlery)
• Wear leggings – the dresses you’ll be trying on are dresses that a million other people have tried on before already…wearing leggings made that thought feel less gross to me.
• Bring your own strapless bra
• Shoes - they provide you with shoes but if you have a pair of shoes already, might as well wear them to see how it looks and feels with the dress (even though they won't even be visible if you're wearing a long gown...)
• Make an appointment – seriously, make an appointment. You don’t want to waste anyone’s time by trying to do a walk-in.
• Don't be afraid to ask the attendants to bring you stuff you’ve already asked for - they forget...a LOT
• Go more than once – wedding dress shopping will take more than 1 trip to decide.
• Check online for prices and styles – do your due diligence – just because one store says it’s this price, doesn’t mean it doesn’t go for cheaper elsewhere.
• Keep a list of dresses you really liked and really want to try – more homework – check out what dresses you definitely want to try on before you go in for your appointment. This helps to save time so you’re not sitting there at your appointment picking out dresses on the spot. Also – this way you can check in advance if the location you’re going to even has the dress you want or if you’ll need to visit a different location.
• Try a more remote location – I went to both the Manhattan and Long Island City locations for David’s Bridal and let me tell you, Long Island City was a WAY better experience. The store wasn’t crowded with people, which allowed my attendant to pay more attention to my needs instead of having to cater to 10 other people at the same time.

Now, just for full disclosure, I started writing this post before I went on my hiatus. Now that my wedding’s already done and passed, I have additional perspectives on wedding dresses that I’d like to share:

• Just because you’re getting married, it doesn’t mean you HAVE to wear a traditional wedding dress. Really – it could just be a white dress you find somewhere. I didn’t think of this at the time, but if I did, it would’ve brought my budget down more. Wedding dresses, just because of the fact that they’re labeled as “wedding dresses” are inherently marked up like crazy. But really, depending on your wedding style, you could totally go and get a white dress elsewhere for way less money! For example -- check out these alternatives from ASOS.com:

All of the above are under $200!

• Be realistic with your size. Are you someone who gains weight easily but finds it difficult to shed off weight as well (guilty…)? Or are you someone who more or less remains the same size? When I purchased my wedding dress, it felt a little snug for me, but the attendant assured me that it was the right size and I figured that I was going to try losing weight anyway, so it’d be ok. Needless to say, my weight loss goals weren’t met and I ended up gaining a few pounds instead. By the time my wedding arrived, I was able to get into my dress, but it was totally a struggle. Not to mention, it hindered me from really eating much of anything because there just wasn’t enough room in my dress to allow me to eat much.
• Comfort over style! I’ve always LOVED strapless dresses because I just find them to be so classic and beautiful. However, I’ve always hated wearing strapless dresses because I just don’t have the chest to hold them up and it’s a constant struggle to pull my dress up. For my wedding dress, I went with a strapless A-line dress with a sweetheart neckline (specifically, I got this Galina number right here), and the fact that it was strapless basically restricted my movement to some extent. Looking back, I would’ve TOTALLY gone with a looser silhouette of a dress (way more forgiving for my weight gain) and one with straps! In fact, I saw dresses like that after my wedding from places like ASOS for WAY cheaper than what I paid for my dress.
• Wedding dresses do NOT need to 1 piece. I didn’t realize this until after my wedding, but there are places like BHLDN that offer great 2 piece wedding dresses that allows you to mix and match and play with the different silhouettes and textures. I would’ve totally considered this if I had known back then. Check out some of the different bridal separates that BHLDN offers:

• Be realistic if you want to have multiple gowns to change into. I don’t know if it’s a Chinese thing or not, but for Chinese weddings, it’s quite common for the bride to change into different dresses. I wasn’t going to originally, but my family and my husband’s family kept trying to convince me to do so, so I ended up getting a second dress (mint colored Anabelle dress from BHLDN—yes, it’s from the bridesmaid section but who cares – I loved the dress and it was like $180 on sale). However, in retrospect, I probably should’ve just stayed in my wedding dress the whole night. I wanted to be in my wedding dress when we cut the cake, but the cake cutting wasn’t until toward the end of the night (after the main course). As a result, I was only in my second dress for about an hour! The dress might’ve been just $180, but $180 for just 1 hour is something I could’ve done without! So if you want multiple outfits, think about your timeline and when you want to be in your wedding dress to see if it makes sense to do so.